Post-Christmas Blues

Well the "holiday" season is over. Time to loose ten pounds and put away all of the many gifts that were received. Abundance!!
It is hard for me to live in this country. I am thankful for the freedom that I have been born into, however I am sadened by many things that come with that freedom. A friend shared a teaching with me from Rob Bell. Rob reiterated many of the things I already knew and shared some scary facts that I had never heard. How do you find balance in America! Is it okay to have "much" as long as you give "much"? Some would say it is, but I struggle with that. Couldn't you then give more? But then some would ask "what is enough?" I do not know how to answer that. Is it okay to own a $200,000 home if you could afford a $350,000 home? I do not know how to answer that. Living here, among all of this wealth all of this "stuff" I believe makes us loose site of what is a "need" and what is a "want". I pray that the Lord continues to teach me and show me what He desires of me in this area... "your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."
Rob pointed out he is a citizen of the Kingdom of God first and foremost. If that citizenship calls him to speak out against what is being done by the country he is a citizen of then he must. I agree wholeheartedly with this comment and I thank him for saying it.

Red or Blue

Can I be purple?
I am tired of the elections. All I see are ads bashing the opponent. How does this inform me of what you stand for? I am tired of hearing about who did or didn't do something that the next guy disagrees with. I am tired of people bringing things into the church or my e-mail asking me to support a particular candidate or sign a petition. Please do not get me wrong I believe that many of the issues discussed are important, however the matter in which they are dealt with saddens me. I am also tired of defending what I believe in and stand for because it seems "liberal" to other "Christians" around me. I am thankful to live in a free country that allows me to worship my heavenly Father. But if I am allowed that same freedom by my government than shouldn't my neighbor who may happen to be gay be allowed to marry his partner. Or if someone wants to worship another way, shouldn't they be allowed. In my opinion if I say "no" then why should I be allowed the freedom that I enjoy? Can't have your cake and eat it too (that saying makes no sense to me, but I will use it anyways).

One year

This has been one crazy year full of change. My husband is no longer playing music full time but is doing the 9-5 routine. We are trying to live more in community which has challenged us on many levels. We now worship on Saturday evenings at the gathering. We are being stretched and trying to seek what it truly means to follow Christ, still stumbling along.
My son has turned one. You hear so often, "it goes by so quickly". I am now uttering those words. It seems like yesterday, well maybe not yesterday, but not long ago, that we were bringing him home. He has been such a joy in our lives. He puts things into perspective for me; what is important and what is not. He shows me how selfish I can be, and doesn't allow for it. He makes me laugh at the silliest things. He has brought my husband and I closer. He has his daddys warm face and my loud personality. We hope to show him many things and learn more from him.

From Hope for the Flowers by Trina Paulus (thank you for sharing David)
"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively.
"You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."
"You mean to die?" asked Yellow, remembering the three who fell out of the sky.
"Yes and No," he answered.
"What looks like you will die but what's really you will still live. Life is changed, not taken away. Isn't that different from those who die without ever becoming butterflies?"

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

Frustration

I recently watched "The Pianist" a movie I had wanted to see many times before, but never made the time. Let me just say it was totally depressing. I cried almost the entire movie. Yet at the same time I loved it. What is wrong with me? It made me feel so many things. First, being a mother now I watched this movie through different eyes. I have watched many movies on the holocaust and been brought to tears, but not like this. The thought of my baby going through that...I cannot even bear the thought. I was then brought to anger. Anger that something like that could happen. The man that the movie was based on died in 2000. That fact reminded me that this awful act of hate was not that long ago. I have no idea how you go through something like that and survive. Yes, you survive physically, but emotionally how can you? I then thought, how could we allow something like that to happen and I quickly reminded myself that it is happening today in Africa, and what do we do? Nothing! It makes me so angry at myself. I know what is going on and do nothing, what can I do? I feel so helpless so small. Excuses! There are people dying all around and I sit here in my comfortable chair watching a movie.

New Journey

Why am I starting this blog? Because everyone else is doing it...no way. I am not really sure...I guess it can be another outlet for me to share the many thoughts swimming in my head. Maybe they will come out better through written word.
Oh how life has changed for me lately. For the good. Scott and I welcomed our first child, Miles Wayne into this world. He has turned things upside down. I will be honest, at first I did not like this motherhood thing, but now, I cannot imagine my life without him. He brings us so much joy...even when we are searching for sleep.
I feel blessed that God saw fit to entrust His child with us.